Today is my 28th re-birth day. A noticeable pause in the story of life to catalog a chapter passed and set a thesis for the next one ahead.
Since our last check-in on my 27th birthday when I was feeling “on top of the world” – new city, new job, new apartment, etc., things have noticeably come back down to reality from the initial high of the honeymoon phase.
I look in the mirror and now see many different compositions.
Like layers of metamorphic rock, the differences are not always apparent to the casual observer, but are reflected in the subtle differences in appearance and response to the weathering and erosion acting on the rocks.
Starting on the dating front, I must have gone on an average of 10 dates per month for a solid 5 months in the fall/winter. My first to second date conversion rate was 5% at best. As us PM’s like to say, that’s a steep funnel drop-off.
It’s not always rainbows and butterflies (but sometimes it is) – Vernal Falls @Yosemite
The first guy I went on a second date with in SF told me that he was so excited about where things were going that he told his mom about me (questionable?). Three days later, he dropped me off to a Saturday morning workout class, and I never heard from him again.
The second guy I went on a second date with had the nerve to ask me “How the heck I was single?” and when I explained to him things just hadn’t really clicked with anyone, and my longest dating streak in SF was 2 weeks, he responded “Well this will definitely last more than two weeks.” I never heard from him again either – sort of.
Months later, iconically after another lackluster first date, I showed up hungover to Soul Cycle in the morning and to my surprise discovered that it was my 100th ride. The studio had streamers, balloons, and a huge poster with my name on it at check-in. I was stoked to celebrate this milestone. As soon as I strapped in front row, I looked to my left and sure enough, there he was front row as well. Awkward. That’s how small of a city SF really is.
These were all annoyances compared to the last 4 months – where shit really hit the fan. A weird combination of fate, circumstance, and admittedly, my own extravagant imagination that can only be accurately described as a “divine orchestration” deserving of it’s own chapter in 50 Shades of Mei – a book that I am writing to indulge deeper in the hilarity that is my dating life.
Yes, YOU reading now probably have your own chapter in this book too.
My version is not quite as creepy, but making a comparison is also not inaccurate – @younetflix
Beyond my dating life, I’ve experienced some roadblocks at work that have shaken me 10x deeper than any man could ever make me feel. I’ve been told by my own leadership that I try to wear “too many hats” – constantly “overstep my roles and responsibilities” and “seem to crave more power”. It blew my mind that all my blood, sweat, and tears to make our projects successful could be interpreted in such an ugly way. This feedback was so deeply hurtful that that I did not show up to work in person for 4 days because the environment triggered in me a thunderstorm of anger, panic attacks, and tears.
It took a lot of hard conversations to directly address the issue as well as time to heal, and to say I’m fully recovered would be a lie. I don’t think I will ever fully recover, and I don’t want to. There were moments this year that I felt like I died inside – smothered deeper than @karlthefog over the golden gate bridge on a Fogust morning.
Mist you, long time @ Lands End
Something about that event rekindled a fire in me that I haven’t seen in months. Since then, I’ve been hell bent on investing into continuous learning (learning to code!), connecting deeper with others, and all around proving to myself that I can do anything that I set my mind to.
Camp fires are the best fires @ Yosemite
In addition to pushing myself outside my comfort zone, I’ve been leaning into opening my eyes to the good in my life that puts the bad into perspective. These moments of pure joy are significantly less glamorous than my nomadic days requiring more precision to find these pockets of magic in ordinary life.
Each day, my love grows deeper for all the amazing souls that I am fortunate to call my co-workers. From weekend trips to Portland, Yosemite, or out to the links to spontaneous trips across the pond to Japan, I am grateful to have a crew of people who have made this past year in San Francisco unforgettable.
I wanna make it, I wanna make it wit chu (pikachu) @ Osaka, Japan
Consider it an unpopular opinion, but even through all the drama and leadership turnover, I am even more bullish on Coinbase and it’s ability to create mainstream adoption of crypto than I have ever been before.
I’ve struck an *enviable* balance between work, relationships, and health that many would kill to have.
I am grateful to be able wake up every morning and squeeze in a Soul Cycle or Core40 class before heading to work.
I stroll into work between 9 and 10 am every morning energized and make my go-to-breakfast without having to wait a minute in line – a Whole Wheat Bagel from Noah’s with an entire, delightfully ripe avocado cut with a special avocado cutter – v important for safe core removal and optimal avocado coverage – *bless our workplace ops team*.
When lunch comes around, I take a 2 minute elevator ride to a healthy and creative selection from our salad bar and hot buffet.
Wine-not? has become a daily question as I grab a glass of wine and yet another free meal while bonding with coworkers in the evening catching up on the week’s happenings (a.k.a the “hot goss”).
When the day wraps up or when I’ve hit my 3rd glass of wine – which ever comes first – I leave the office and have the evening available to learn something new, meet someone new, do something new, or simply go home and decompress with book and face mask. Let’s be real – the face mask wins 9 times out of 10.
Lastly, I don’t work on weekends. Heavy +1 to that.
My life doesn’t suck. And more importantly, it gives me
and the means to CREATE my OWN life rather than be consumed by someone else’s.
Choosing the life behind door #2 – @Puerto Rico (1 year Remote Year reunion)
So that brings me what I want out of this year as a 28 year old.
What is my mission, vision, strategy?
What super SF, techy, cliche, borderline douche thing have I not already said?
tldr; saved the best for last because everyone knows that once you put that at the top of an email, no one reads the rest : )
At 28, I want to see the world differently. I want to see what’s actually in front of me, and not what my imagination wants to see. My imagination wants to love and be loved. My imagination wants to escape. My imagination wants time to bring me peace and clarity. The truth is living in the present is so much more fun.
Cheers to capturing one moment at a time and thanks for reading!